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African Americans: A Look in the Mirror, Part 2
“For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.” James 1:23-24 The black community...
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Blooming Boomers - Women and Retirement
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Chasing After Child Support
Child support is often a source of contention between divorced parents of minor children. I understand this. I have been there. In an ideal situation, the parent who is responsible for paying child support does so out of love for his or her...
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Ten Ways Simplify Your Financial Life
A simple financial checklist designed to get your finances moving in the right direction.
Finances can be a pretty daunting, and a lot of times we ignore them because we just don’t want to face them. Well, here's some news… if you want to...
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Reasons For Breach in Marital Relations
Marriage is a most
pious term in the dictionary of social institution. It is not
only a lifetime bond between two persons but also a bond between
two families. Divorce on the other
hand is heartbreaking end of this relationship. It has
detrimental effects on the divorcees but the brunt faced by the
children of such couples is much more as compared to their
divorced parents. There are many reasons contributing to breach
in marital relationship, some of which are analyzed below.
Hold of one partner over the entire finances, is a state,
which is not easily acceptable by the other spouse. In a
situation where only one spouse has full authority over the
checkbook, the relationship takes downward trend. Upon modest
demand, the other partner is usually given some grant and he/she
ultimately is reduced to the status of a dependant person.
Instead of showing contentment for having authority over the
whole finance, such spouses complain of additional load and
express their grievance over the other partner's inability to
contribute to the financial burden. When only one spouse has
authorization of entire money of a family unit it ruins the
marital relationship. It is often recommended by counselors that
each spouse should possess some resources, but in a less
privileged economy savings are unaffordable. Usually, if a
partner can disburse finances without being answerable to the
other, he/she has more sense of security and freedom in the
marital relationship.
A number of males strongly consider that a female's every wish
must be fulfilled. These men instead of refusing say "Yes" when
their spouse behaves inappropriately and displays excessive
self-centeredness in anticipation that one day the wife will
improve her conduct. This behavior of the husband is professed
as weak point and the wife derives huge benefits from this. It
is better if from the very first day of marriage, the husband
starts disagreeing with the spouse over the smallest
unjustifiable demands. This behavior is more sensible. The
spouse who never negotiates will always be on winning edge.
During a dispute it is always problematic to condemn the
inappropriate actions taken by the spouse, in an inoffensive
language. Without shouting obscenities or using abusive language
in presence of the partner's colleagues etc, his appalling
actions can be described. In number of marriages, spouses go
overassertive over smallest issues. Although all spouses face
disputes, only a few know how to resolve these. On the other
hand, there are certain unreasonable malicious words and acts
that traverse the limit. It is known to most of the spouses how
to evade these, but some are not familiar with the ways, or some
think they can liberally cosset themselves.
One of the major reasons that married people recognizes to
mention as an excuse for divorce now a days is - Communication
Gap. Definitely it is true that when the couples try to take
their marital relationship towards high levels of maturity, they
face many personal and tricky problems. During this course,
instead of having a serious
conversation over the problems for a
positive outcome, they tend to divert towards discourteous
methods. Actually these couples essentially need a counselor who
can educate them regarding methods of successful and serious
talk without confrontation.
Healthy marital relations can be maintained in situations where
when one spouse has incredible guilt and true penitence and the
other has mature and realistic nobility or the couple has at
least some similar interests that can outweigh the domineering
disparities. However most of the partners precisely seek out new
allies and affairs. An intentional and positive thought and
momentary calm can prevent this double crossing affair.
Positively, the passionate people have some kind of fear of the
God. Trepidation creates some diffidence and they try to resolve
disputes peacefully. Also in the present times couples are aware
of the disastrous affects of divorce on children, so they try to
restrain themselves from taking steps towards separation.
Many young couples consider that there is nothing beyond their
marriage and here they make a big mistake. When a person does
not allow his or her spouse to have friendship outside the
marital life, and presumes that showing interest towards anyone
else is a proof of betrayal, and whenever they are free they
must be together, has noxious results. To be a part of the
humanity is a human necessity because we all are social
creatures. If a partner is constrained from maintaining healthy
social relations with others, then he or she is encouraged to
build up undisclosed and treacherous affairs. A number of
husbands who strongly think that only dim-witted wives are
endearing are not aware of their demeanor. Even such wives can
really be very harsh and dictatorial. In a situation where the
spouse is too courteous and is not in favor of fighting back the
outcome may be appalling. A wife may become immature and
childish indeed. Her self-centered behavior can match the
behavior of a brat. She may develop some unhealthy habits like
drinking, smoking etc. and at last move to the court. The
repercussions are harmful not only for the couple but for their
offsprings also. It is pertinent to mention here that most of
the erroneous concepts of married life come from television
soaps. Competing against each other for the control and
authority over children is another type of conduct, which not
only hampers the development of children but also affects the
foundations of marital relationships.
The causes responsible for breach in marital relations are many.
But the ties which are constructed by the institution of
marriage are inherently strong and can easily confront
obstacles, provided the levels of communication between the
husband and wife are high and both treat each other as a friend
rather than a competitor.
About the author:
He is an economic analyst with a law degree. He has keen
interest in social issues and understands the importance of
sharing knowledge with others. Being an amateur writer, he
expresses his views and thoughts through short articles.
For more articles visit at www.nrilegalservices.com
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